The Fringe Hours
We’ve figured out where our hours are going and we’ve figured out what our perfect day would be like. So what are we going to do about it? How are we going to work towards our dreams?
I can hear you now. I’m too busy. I’m too tired. I don’t have enough time. Well you can use those excuses or you can follow me into the fringe hours. What are the fringe hours? “…those little pockets of time throughout the day that often go underused or are wasted altogether.” “If not intentionally redeemed, fringe hours slip through one’s fingers like sand.” That fifteen minutes we spend on facebook while waiting for our kids. That thirty minutes we spend watching the morning news. Those two hours we spend watching reruns of the Big Bang Theory.
We all have time that we could use better during the day. It’s up to us to schedule that time and use it wisely. “You are never too busy to make time for what you love.” If you don’t have a plan for your time someone else will. “If something is really important to you, you will find a way to fit it into your life.”
Jessica Turner wrote “The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You” after having so many women ask how she got so much done. “What’s your secret — how do you do it all?”
I’m talking about time to pursue your passions. Time to play with your kids. Time to rest and recover. Time to use in whatever way will benefit you at this point in your life.
For so many years I walked around exhausted. Just crashing when I get home and thinking that would help. It won’t. When you are that exhausted you need something to refuel you. Something to fill you back up. “You should use your gifts and passions not just for others but to fill you up.” That something could be cooking, spending time with your kids, reading a book, decorating a planner or working towards your ultimate dream. And it may be all of these at different times. Our days take so much out of us we need to find what will empower and energize us.
We need to take care of us so we can take care of our families. “We can’t have balance if activities in our life are neatly scheduled but we are overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotional.”
Don’t let feelings of what you should be doing guilt you into wasting your time with activities you don’t love. And I’m not talking about the dishes. I’m talking about running the booth for the fourth bake sale this year. They can find someone else to do that. You don’t owe anyone any explanations just say no thank you and go on with your life. “Just because they are good things doesn’t mean that they are good for you, for right now (or even ever).”
You must also stop living in the past. Don’t let guilt and thoughts of “oh I should have done” that make you miserable. You made the best choice you could at the time now move on and make a better choice next time. “The reason so many women today struggle to make themselves a priority is because they are trying to be everything to everyone.”
Remember if someone asks you to do something or you think “I should do such and such” if your immediate response isn’t HELL Yeah! Then it should be NO. It’s as simple as that. Spend and plan your time in a way that will benefit you. If you are pursuing your passions you will help many other people along the way even if it’s just as being an example of a Happy Healthy Person. “…I still sometimes do things simply because I would feel guilty if I didn’t do them. The problem is, I do so begrudgingly and often don’t have time to do something else that I would have really enjoyed doing.” “If what you do doesn’t matter to you, it’s really not going to matter to anyone else.”
Make time for yourself. Schedule it in like any other appointment. This is an appointment with yourself. Only you can put you first. “…when women make time for what they live, they become more compassionate people.”
Besides squeezing fifteen minutes here and there, what else can you do to find time for you? Ask for help. Grandma loves those kids as much as you do. Let them have a sleepover. Trade date nights with a friend. Find a mother’s day out in your town. Hire someone to come in once a week or even once a month and help you get caught up on chores. You don’t have the money? What about bartering? Do you have a skill or good you can trade? Sometimes you need to think outside the box. Get creative. Figure out WHAT you want then then you can figure out HOW to get it. “Relationships are the currency that matters, not the conditions of our homes.”
Remember: The happier you are, the happier your family will be and the happier your friends will be. Happiness breeds happiness just like negativity breeds negativity. Be the positive force in your life. Show others how to be happy and how to live a happy healthy life.